Sunday, November 25, 2012

FROM SMOKEY THE BEAR TO KERMIT THE FROG - ONE FOR THE KIDS



Dear Kermit,
I'm Smokey the Bear and I've been around a long time.  You may have seen me on TV commercials.  I want to give you some information, so you will know better how to conduct yourself in the future.  Sending messages to children is a serious business.

You see, I started this whole thing about forest fires a long time ago, before you were even conceived.  My message made sense.  It still does.  My message is to snuff out a campfire and not to throw lit cigarette butts around where a fire might start and burn down our forest home.  My message was to children and adults to be careful with fire.  It's a lesson any sane adult would pass along to their children.  Not complicated.  Easy.  Any caveman could understand it.

Well, Kermit, a strange and curious man showed up on the scene some years ago and, all of a sudden, taking care of our forests and wildlife became something totally bizarre.  The man's name is Al Gore.  He decided to tell everyone that humans are responsible for killing everything on the planet.  I think he must have talked to the folks at PBS, your employers, because they started doing some shows saying the same thing.  Then you came along and announced, "It isn't easy being green." Hmmm....Telling children that "green" isn't easy is preparing them for what?  I mean, you're cute and all that, for a guy that hangs out with a lady pig and a big yellow bird.  But your message is a lot different than mine.  

One thing about us, you and me, is we are fictional characters.  Someone made us up.  We aren't real.  However, the messages we send are very real and directly impact children.   Your message has been about asking them to make sacrifices. Your message of difficulty in "being green" tells children that their lives must be downsized to accommodate your "green."  Right?  My message is just about being careful with matches and various sources of fire.  I didn't tell them to never light a fire.  I just told them to put it out when they are done with it. 

Some bad people, like Al Gore and the liberals at PBS, are using you, Kermit.  Now they are saying that, in order to be "green," humans have to give up driving cars, living in nice homes, using energy to heat and cool their homes, stop having babies, and generally just stop doing anything.  Those things didn't hurt you, Kermit.  But this Al Gore guy...he wants people to think so.  He wants you to tell all of the children who listen to you to think they are a plague on the earth.  Is that what you think of the children who watch and listen to you?  

The funny thing about this Al Gore fellow, he doesn't actually live the way he tells everyone else to live.  He has multiple homes and goes to get massages frequently..... and he flies around in a big jet plane. He's getting rich by telling little frogs like you to make everyone stop living well, even though he lives like a king!  For years he has been preaching about some scheme to tax people for using any energy.  And this tax scheme will make him rich, but will make your young friends a lot poorer.  And when they are poorer, they won't be able to buy your songs or books or afford to watch your show on cable TV.  They probably won't even be allowed to have a house in which to grow up.

My message doesn't make anyone poorer, Kermit.  You see, I want humans to live well and have forests so they may make their homes, and furniture, and books!  Forests do more than just provide a habitat for you and me.  They also support humans.  Plus, forests renew themselves with good management from humans.  In fact, we have more forests today than existed when Columbus discovered America!

So Kermit, why don't you tell your human advisers that you are not going to send these bad messages to your young audience anymore?  We need humans, you see.  They are the reason we exist.  Without humans, we are out of work.  Who will laugh with us or think we are cute?  Who will buy our commercials and TV shows?  Who will need us for anything?

Another thing to worry about is telling children something that isn't true.  What will they think of you when they figure out that heating their homes is not really killing the planet?  Or that their Moms driving them to school in an SUV doesn't hurt anyone?  They'll think you are a good-for-nothing frog who sold the truth out for your career.  Now you don't want children to grow up and realize you lied to them, do you?  You could go down in history as Kermit the Lying Green Frog.  I don't think you want that!

Finally, please give my best regards to Miss Piggy.  The "green" movement has her on their target list for eradication.  I think you will sorely miss her if she suddenly disappears.  You see, her cousins help feed the world and Mr. Gore doesn't like that idea, so he's trying to tell everyone that pigs are very bad for the diet.  Besides, he and others want to use the feed for livestock and humans to be wasted on engine fuels, which is another way for Mr. Gore to get rich and get rid of the humans he considers a plague.  Such a kidder, that Gore guy.

Anyway, I wish you luck and hope you don't croak anytime soon.  Just please reconsider what you are telling our little friends.  

Your buddy,
Smokey the Bear

 








 









Note to my readers:  I realize the last three posts have gone from Santa Claus to Humpty Dumpty to Smokey the Bear and Kermit the Frog.  My only excuse is that I think my Mommy mode must have kicked in and I am going for protection of our children at this point.  Since the fraudulent re-election of the O in the White House I am even more concerned about the loss of opportunities and freedoms for our children and grandchildren.  I don't count myself in the '60's crowd in power who are on this rampage to ruin the country, even though I am chronologically in that generation.  I didn't raise my children in this nation in order to deny them the understanding or realization of all that we were given.  My advice is to beat the drum loudly, teach them gently, but firmly, and get those little ones out of the indoctrination centers called public schools. 

2 comments:

  1. Cheryl, that's good!!! I don't recall you ever using satire in this way. It works! You did good. You may want to do more of this. I have always enfied people who are good at satire.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just something that struck me, Jim. I was thinking about what these schemers are doing to our kids with their gloom and doom view of the future.
    Thanks...!!
    We'll see if another satirical thought arrives...if so, I'll go with it!!

    ReplyDelete